I woke up this morning feeling a little under the weather. I had a scratchy throat, a runny nose, and itchy eyes. I had a cup of coffee, and went for a stroll outside in hopes of feeling better. For most of the morning I spent my time online getting registered for school for the up and coming semester. As time passed, I began to feel worse and some things with school began to stress me out.
For dinner, I had prepped green beans and ground turkey, and while eating, it just wasn’t satisfying my taste buds. I think this was due to the fact that I wasn’t feeling good, and we all know that greens aren’t the most appetizing when sick. I decided to fix me a grilled cheese with a side of Doritos (much tastier), even though it took up most of my remaining macros for the day. Well, I went back to work on my computer and once again was having problems with my registration that began to cause a bit of anxiety. I rarely get anxious, but when I do, my face becomes extremely flushed and just like many, my go-to is food. I went back into the kitchen, whipped up another grilled cheese, this time with cheese curls, followed with a handful of lemon cookies. I picked up a bag of white powdered doughnuts from the cabinet (remember I’m at my moms house that has all the goodies), and asked my mom if I could open them. Well, don’t get me wrong, my mom would give me anything in this world from her house and while she looked at me and said, “of course you can,” in my head I heard her saying, “you can, but I know you’re gonna be so upset at yourself if you do.” I didn’t open them. I took a moment, and thought to myself; Ok, I can eat this, which would be considered at this point as binging, and feel miserable, or I can chalk up the meal that I just had, as my cheat meal for the week. Granted, I had my heart set on fish and chips this weekend, but you know what… in that moment I used food as a crutch, but I didn’t go overboard and turn a moment of weakness into a binge. Now, I can wake up tomorrow and not feel ashamed or like a failure, and I can continue my week without frustration or ‘starting again next week’.
Why do I share this? Because I am human! I am a coach and a nutritionist, but I am a person that has moments of weakness as well. I have had many clients over the years that share their weaknesses and binge eating with me and its only right that I share mine as well.
The lesson here, is that every moment of weakness doesn’t have to be looked at as a failure. I could’ve opened that bag of powdered doughnuts, and if I did, I probably (lets be real, I would have), eaten half of the bag. I was a terrible binge eater in my past. I suffered from a terrible relationship with food. Thats why I am a nutritionist and currently studying dietetics. I overcame that battle, and my passion is to help others too as well. But no matter how strong a person is, there will always be moments of weakness. Learning how to resist those moments, overcome those moments, and push past those moments without self-destruction, is when you win!